Here we see that possibilities open to us all if we would only get up off the floor.

My father had a pet parrot called Peter who would crap all over the kitchen and learnt swear words and this was all part of his charm. Have a paying lodger that would do the same would you?

We had two notable lodgers in my house as a child. The first among them was Tony who my parents dubbed 'Powder Boy' because of the amount of talc he left all over the bathroom. He was bearded and used pounds of butter on the meals that he ate and I have to say that I disliked him intensely.

The second was called Alan and was a university student. He had a folder that he put his notes in that was covered in photographs. One of these 'snaps' was of him wearing nothing but a straw hat. I didn't like him much either.